Repentance and Renewal

Ash Wednesday

Joel 2:12-18; Psalm 51:3-4, 5-6ab, 12-13, 14 and 17; 2 Corinthians 5:20-6:2; Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

When my father’s mother died, it was customary where she lived to bring in women whose role was to mourn publicly at the wake. As a kid I thought it was strange, but my dad really disliked it. To him, their sorrow was a performance; it didn’t even remotely come from the heart. What was also clear was that my dad’s anger wasn’t mere self-righteousness; I saw in his behavior for a long time that his grief was real and heartfelt.

That’s the question in the first reading. In the prophet Joel’s time, it was customary to tear your garments if you were sorrowful or repentant. But when it came to their relationship with the Lord God, were these people truly sorry or repentant? It was hard to tell. For years, they were back and forth, up and down in their fidelity to Him. That’s why the prophet insists that repentance is something far deeper than a torn garment; it is felt in the heart.

We can see that difference in the psalm. Consider David’s words: “Have mercy on me, O God… Against you only have I sinned…Cast me not out from your presence…” We can almost feel his remorse. Despite all his ups and downs over the years, David truly loved the Lord. Any of us who have ever hurt someone we deeply love understand the sorrow, guilt, and remorse we feel. We’d do anything to take back what we’ve said or done, and never want to hurt them again.

But David doesn’t stop there; from the depths of his repentance he goes on to say, “A clean heart create for me, O God… Give me back the joy of your salvation, and a willing spirit sustain in me.” He knows that only God can heal his brokenness and renew his spirit.

That desire for repentance and renewal is something we can all relate to, especially on Ash Wednesday. Hopefully, it also helps us feel the urgency that goes with it. As St. Paul reminds us, repentance isn’t a “some day” project: “Now is the acceptable time; now is the day of salvation.” So as we come forward to receive ashes, remember: they have meaning only if they reflect a real desire for change within us. Otherwise, they’re just a smudge on our forehead. As we begin Lent, the question is this: Are we simply “wearing” ashes, or are we owning our sinfulness and turning like David to the only One who can heal what is broken within us?