Learning to Unlearn

Saturday of the 19^th Week in Ordinary Time

Ezekiel 18:1-10, 13b, 30-32; Matthew 19:13-15

It really isn’t surprising to hear Jesus say, Let the children come to me. I think he loved being around little kids. If you have toddlers or have been around them much, you can see why. When you come home, they run to greet you, hold onto your leg, want to be held, tell you about their day, and listen as you tell them stories. Everything is a wonder. They trust implicitly, believe readily, depend on you for everything, and allow themselves to be taken care of. They are so completely innocent.

How refreshing, and how unlike the adults he so often deals with; people with agendas, who have trouble trusting him or his message, who fear him, or who challenge him at every turn. We might think, “Well, that’s the way it is. Kids grow up, things happen, and innocence gets lost.” We may not like it, but we learn to accept it as the way things are.

The thing is, though, that Jesus doesn’t accept it, and couldn’t make it any clearer when he said,the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Note, not belongs to these, but belongs to such as these. He includes everyone, provided that the things we’ve learned – that trust and belief must be earned, that we’re dependent only on ourselves, and that we need no one else to look after us – somehow get “unlearned.”

How do we unlearn? In three steps.

First, as God told us through Ezekiel: Turn and be converted (Ezekiel 18:30). In other words, recognize that we’ve sinned and have to do something about it.

If that sounds a lot like Confession, it is, but specifically, one of the hardest parts of it, which is step two: Making and keeping a firm purpose of amendment. As good and necessary as it is to confess our sins, if we don’t earnestly resolve to amend our lives, it’s all for nothing. Making this promise to God is hard enough, because it’s a blow to our pride, but keeping it is even harder. Why? Because our most persistent sins are often habitual; they develop slowly, over the course of years, and can be very stubborn. Even though we’re patient, failing to overcome such a sin is very frustrating. What can we do?

That brings us to step three: Form new, good habits to replace the old. It’s not enough to say to ourselves, “I just won’t do that sin anymore.” That leaves a hole that something is going to end up filling. It’s better to plan ahead, to have something good to replace the sin with. For example, let’s say that when I meet with my friends, I gossip about people. I’ve tried avoiding my friends, but that hurts them and me. So, I meet them and end up gossiping again. It’s better to form a new habit: Before we meet, I will ask God for the grace to stop and apply the “THINK” principle: Say only what is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind. If what I want to say lacks even one of those, then I won’t say it. Or, let’s assume I’m persistently angry with someone. I’ve tried forgiving them and moving on, but can’t get over it. Why not try sincerely praying every day for that person; not that they get what they deserve, but that they will come to know and love God as much as possible? I’ve found that it’s not easy to stay angry at someone I’m sincerely praying for. These are just two examples. Take some time today and ask God, or ask Father in the Confessional next time, to suggest some new strategies to overcome a sin you’re struggling with.

So, as we prepare now to receive Christ in Holy Communion or a blessing, let us ask him to help us unlearn all those things that prevent us from becoming such as those little ones to whom the Kingdom of Heaven belongs.

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